Insults

• I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.
• When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say your stupidity.
• Well, I'll see you in my dreams---if I eat too much.
• I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
• You're the best at all you do---and all you do is make people hate you.
• Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?
• The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.
• When you get run over by a car it shouldn't be listed under accidents.
• All of your ancestors must number in the millions; its hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.
• Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
• I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
• I hear that when your mother first saw you she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.
• You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.
• No one should be punished for accident of birth but you look too much like a wreck not to be.
• Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being.
• You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.
• You're a habit I'd like to kick, with both feet.
• I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
• I would like the pleasure of your company but it only gives me displeasure.
• You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.
• At your speed you'd better not stop your mouth too fast or your teeth will fly through your cranium.
• If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.
• Don't you have a terribly empty feeling---in your skull?
• You have nothing to fear from my baser instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you.
• It's your life---but I wish you'd let us have it.
• I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
• I think you should live for the moment. But after that I doubt I'll think so.
• Man alive! But I wish you weren't.
• I believe in respect for the dead; in fact I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
• I admire you because I've never had the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief and a cheat.
• You're acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would.